


Drop in the Ocean (But an Important One)

by neverthelessthesun



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1000 words of crap, BAMF JARVIS, Fluff, Gen, I know nothing about coding im sorry, POV JARVIS (Iron Man movies), Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Talk Computer To Me, Tony Stark Has A Heart, having fun in JARVIS' mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 19:04:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5139107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverthelessthesun/pseuds/neverthelessthesun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve do the fighting thing. Steve goes to JARVIS for advice on how to do the fighting thing less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drop in the Ocean (But an Important One)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for stopping by! This is just a short lil JARVIS-appreciation fic I wrote. It can be read as gen or pre-slash, whichever is your cuppa. The more I stare at this, the more I hate it, so I'm just gonna post it now before I back out.

Initiating security search.

Three irregularities, all within normal parameters for subset_tower. 

Search conclusion: nominal.

 

Protocol 1a37J-06 triggered. 

Referencing break room footage, the trigger seems to be inert. Interns Hartford, Sigma and Johnson, Alfie are recreating a scene from last weekend’s party for their coworkers.

Make note in the system. Close protocol.

 

Initiating security search.

One irregularity, within normal parameters for subset_miami.

Search conclusion: nominal.

 

Worker_Bee27 asks: Grant access to ID:784560772 Rogers, Steven?

JustARatherVeryIntelligentSystem replies: Affirmative. Auth code 0048, Avenger.

Worker_Bee27 has ended contact.

 

Worker_Bee28 asks: Grant access to ID:784560772 Rogers, Steven?

JustARatherVeryIntelligentSystem replies: Affirmative. Auth code 0048, Avenger.

Worker_Bee28 has ended contact.

 

Initiating security search.

Four irregularities—

 

“Hey, um, JARVIS? Are you busy? I don’t want to bother you…”

Voice Print: Rogers, Steven. variable EmotionLock (TM) data saved.

“I am more than willing to assist you, Captain, if it is within my power. What can I help you with?”

Pause.

“Oh, It’s not too important. I don’t want you to have to stop doing something to help me.”

EmotionLock (TM) receiving input which suggests guilt.

Captain Rogers, it would be, as they say, “a drop in the ocean” to divert some of my attention to your current issue. Unless it requires computing power beyond what Sir requires frequently in the lab, none of my other duties will be affected. And, in that circumstance, my first priority is to the safety and security of the lives in my jurisdiction.”

Pause. 

“Well, that’s good to know.” 

Physical motion. Captain Rogers has pressed a hand to his head. Facial recognition and body language readers suggest pain.

“Are you well, Captain?”

“Yes, JARVIS,” Captain Rogers affirmed. “I am just—frustrated. I was wondering if you might be able to give me some clarity.”

“I will endeavor to do my best.”

Pause.

Pause.

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward situation. I know that Tony is your…um…creator? Friend, I suppose. I know that he trusts you with a great deal, and I would never ask you to betray that trust. I don’t want to know anything he’d rather I didn’t, I just want to know…how to talk to him without accidentally setting him off.”

Query: Captain Rogers would like to know about Sir. Separating files based on personal clearance. Highlighting files with relevance to the specific query. 

__

.o0o.

_File:_

_“I don’t want to fight, Stark—“_

_“Call me Tony. You’re already living with me, that’s cause for first names, I think.”_

_“—Tony, then. I’m trying to be a unobtrusive as possible in your home, and I do appreciate your hospitality, but I’m really not one for parties—“_

_“What? You are living in the wrong house, Spangles.”_

_“Steve is fine.”_

_“Uh-huh. Listen, I’ve got a penchant for partying that reaches back decades. I don’t even google myself anymore, it just gets depressing after a while. But this is precedented behavior, Cap. It’s not like I’m doing this to annoy you, which admittedly would be a dick move. I’m doing this because this is what I do.”_

_“That’s…frankly a little strange, but fine. I don’t have a problem with you having parties, I just don’t want to be required to attend each and every one.”_

_“You’re the one who showed up to six parties in a week.”_

_“You sent an invitation!”_

_“Of course I did! How rude would it be not to invite my roommates to my house parties? It doesn’t mean you're required to come, it’s just…there if you want to.”_

_Pause._

_“That’s…very thoughtful, Tony, but I um, I don’t really do the party. Thing. It’s not what I’m used to, is all, I’ve got no experience and two left feet—“_

_“No need to explain yourself to me, Stars and Stripes. I get it. My parties aren’t up to your forties snuff, eh? Well, I’ll take that criticism. I’d rather offend your delicate sensibilities than put everyone else to sleep.”_

_“Now, Stark—“_

_“We’re back to that again!”_

_“I just—“_

_“No, you know what, I’m done. I’m going to work on the Mark IX, don’t bother me until the sun’s come up.”_

_“The sun hasn’t even set yet!”_

_“Perfect!”_

_Slam._

_End file._

.o0o. 

JARVIS reviewed several similar files in the span of the half-second before he answered Captain Rogers.

“Let me be certain I understand your query. You want to learn how to talk to Sir, without offending him or “setting him off” as you say?”

Facial expression software suggests relief.

“Yes, that’s the long and short of it. Will you help me?”

Verifying security clearance for Rogers, Steven. Verified. 

“I will, as much as is within my capacity and best interest to do so.”

Physical motion. Captain Rogers has shrugged.

“I suppose that’s fair. What can you tell me?”

“I would begin, Captain, by calling Sir by his given name, Tony. He connotes his surname with Howard Stark, and it is not a positive connotation.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“I would also recommend that you accept his gifts with good grace. Tony gives things, or upgrades, in my case, as a sign of affection. Even something as simple as flowers or a new watch could be something he views as a display of affection tantamount to deep commitment in a friendship or relationship.”

“But the bike, JARVIS. He didn’t just give me a watch, he gave me a bike. A nice bike,” Here, EmotionLock suggested jealousy, longing, dreaming… “And I can’t just say, ‘Sure,’ can I? I mean, that’s not something that is normal, to give someone a motorcycle?”

“Regardless of what is normal for the general population, Sir will do as he pleases. You can always be sure he does exactly what he wants to do. If he at all felt obligated to give you a bike, you wouldn’t have one. If he didn’t want you to have one, and that one specifically, you wouldn’t. Sir is very decisive in that way.”

“I suppose you’re right. I set him off by trying to give it back to him. I guess I’d better go and apologize.”

JARVIS adjusted his data file for the Captain to include humility.

“Oh, and JARVIS, thanks for the perspective.”

“Not at all, Captain. I found it enlightening for me as well.”

While he was adjusting the file, he added a signifier to the file which only had been displayed in a very few files. It was just a little bit of code which marked the files of those which JARVIS had noticed treated him as more than a computer servant. His “fan club” as it were. The number of files with that code had just dumped to five.

JARVIS saved the changes to the Captain’s personnel file and closed it. He gave himself a millisecond to muse on the likelihood of Sir letting Captain Rogers’ file onto his own “Favorites” server. Then he buried himself in protocols and running the systems while Sir slept on.

 

Initiating security search.

Two irregularities, all within normal parameters for subset_tower. 

Search conclusion: nominal.

 

Initiating security search.

Three irregularities, within normal parameters for subset_miami.

Search conclusion: nominal.

 

Initiating security search…


End file.
